This week my favorite Canadian comic, Lachlan Patterson, and I decided to spend 10 minutes each afternoon "working out our joke muscles" by going to an online news site of our choice and trying to write five jokes which we then email to each other. They're all too topical to go into my act, so rather than just have them disappear into my sent mail folder, never to be seen again. I figured I'd share a few of my favorites every week with the four devoted readers of my blog. Enjoy...- Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is now playing in theatres around the country...which leads me to wonder: Was John Wilkes Booth a vampire or just a vampire hunter hunter?
- Johnny Depp and his longtime girlfriend are splitting up...thank god they never got married, it'd be a shame if she got to take half of his weird hats.
- According to a new report Asians have overtaken Hispanics as the fastest growing group of immigrants in the US...can't say I am surprised, Asians have always been pretty good at multiplying.
- The Spurs Tony Parker is suing a NY nightclub for $20 million after being hit with in the eye with a bottle during the Chris Brown-Drake melee...but that's what he gets for not listening to Tim Duncan's tips on how to properly use the glass.
- Bobby Brown married his girlfriend Alicia Ethridge in Hawaii this past weekend...the newlyweds told guests who couldn't attend to please send gifts from their registry at Meth, Crack & Beyond.
- An Oakland Raiders trainer pulled a woman from her car as it was sinking in the Oakland estuary on Saturday...ironic that he's able to recognize something is sinking, yet he still works for the Raiders.
Asians multiplying nice! Sorta like rabbits, oh wait they eat rabbits...
ReplyDeleteall of those could have been tweets... maybe we should create a longer twitter called Jokester :)