UnTweeted: Vol. V

If you thought Miss Utah's answer was bad, you should hear some answers from the Mister America Pageant. Just kidding, men don't have beauty pageants...that's why we get paid more.

UnTweeted: Volume IV

What's a surfers favorite element? Bromine.*

*Yes, I'm aware that's the dumbest tweet ever. It's precisely why I didn't tweet it. But I also know had @thesulk sent it that it would be retweeted 80k times.

UnTweeted: Volume III

Lena Dunham says the upcoming season of Girls will be more "diverse"...and by that I assume she means bit parts will be given to actors whose parents aren't famous.

UnTweeted: Volume II

"I am to ladies breasts what Peter Travers is to movies...I like ALL of them."

UnTweeted: Volume I

Sometimes I write a tweet but then I don't hit send. Or I tweet something and Immediately delete it. This can happen for many reasons, like I think it's funny, but only for a second. Or It's offensive and I worry that one day my mom might stumble across it. But mostly it's because it shits on someone or multiple people that are "in the business" who I worry will see it and add yet another demerit next to my name on the Black List that I am undoubtably already on. Well from now on those tweets will go here, because I am well aware no one reads this. So here we go...

"I am so excited for The Mindy Project tonight!" - Mindy Kaling's comedy friends & stupid people who only repeat what they read on Twitter.